![]() ![]() ![]() How to talk to your partner about wax play But if you’re planning on literally dripping hot wax onto someone’s skin, it’s especially important! So, here’s everything you need to know about wax play, from how to get started talking about it to sourcing the right candles, preparing equipment and safety plans, and how to bring some fire to the bedroom (not literally). Those are key components of all good sex, of course. When it comes to trying new kinks (or BDSM, and some people consider wax play to fall under that umbrella), preparation, communication, and consent is everything. Wax play isn’t something you want to happen spontaneously, trust me. Mixing the joy of sex with candle wax is bound to turn up the heat. Learning and experiencing something new with a partner is an intimate act in its own right. What’s more, putting all of that pleasure and control into someone else’s hands can be really, really sexy.Īnd, if you needed another reason to think about wax play, or a new sexual act (whether it’s of the candle variety or something else entirely), doing it brings partners - long term and casual - closer together. A hand brushing up against a thigh can feel like a thousand alarms going off in your brain (in a sexy way) when a bit of hot candle wax is involved. It also increases our sensitivity, giving us a lot more intensity as we touch one another. The physical reaction to heat, liquid - and pain if you’re including it - grounds us and helps us stay present in sex. Wax play stimulates so many of our senses, elevating the pleasure we usually get from sex to new heights. It’s by no means uncommon or unusual." In fact, shared that among the 10,000 couples using the site, 36 percent of couples want to give it a go. He tells Mashable: "Wax play remains consistently popular among couples and has strong connections to intimate power and control dynamics. Back then, I thought I was a little weird to want to try wax play, but Derek Newton, founder of, a site that helps couples find their mutual sex interests, says differently. It falls under "temperature play" in the kink world, which is exactly what it sounds like: Using hot and/or cold objects or liquids to create fun sensations during sex. We didn’t end up doing it, which was probably for the best.įor those who don’t know, wax play is a type of kink activity in which hot wax, usually from a candle, is dripped or poured onto a partner. He was an older guy, and I think I was trying to embody the same sexiness you’d see in random Tumblr gifs on your feed, but what I actually did was spring BDSM into the conversation when neither of us were expecting it. I had a random candle I’d found in the house - probably a Pumpkin Spice Yankee Candle - and I asked a partner in the middle of a different sex act if he’d ever wanted to try messing around with wax. I went about it all wrong, in a very teenage, expectedly naive sort of way. Try to drip the wax from a high level, rather than at a low level.The first time I ever attempted wax play was about six or seven years ago. Another rule of thumb: The further away from the skin, the safer. ![]() Keep the wax away from the head, face, open wounds and genitals. Start off with the back and shoulders and then slowly move to more sensitive areas, such as the inner thighs and stomach. When experimenting with wax play, you should always test the wax on less sensitive areas of the body first. The receiver should be massaged with oil or lotion in order to create an easy removal and to ease the initial shock of the wax touching the body. It’s best to have the receiver lie down on a plastic sheet or a damp cloth to help keep the mess in one area. Additionally, make sure there are no flammable items around. A few items to keep handy are a cool cloth, first aid kit and fire extinguisher. After all, you are literally playing with fire. Try to avoid dyed, metallic, scented and stearin-based candles.īefore you begin, you should always have a few items handy for safety purposes. Soy candles would be the safest bet to start with. It may not be the best idea to use those tea light candles you have laying around. A general rule of thumb for those starting out: always use candles that are intended for actual wax play. ![]() To start, you have to figure out what candles work best for your skin. ![]()
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